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All About Kyle Dugan Tarraguña

I was born in 1980. Any thing having to do with music, the internet, or the ocean intensly draws my attention. I have lived on three different continets in various different countries, cultures and religions. I practice Mahayana/ Tibetan Buddhism and I identify with my Irish and Spanish heritages. My mother told me that when I was in first grade I would make up stories and the teacher was always calling her to inquire about my stories. While I was busy being creative and making up stories and songs my parents were pushing me towards being active in sports like football/soccer, baseball, basketball and swimming. Much like the duality in The Prince by Machiavelli, I daydreamed about creating songs,novels and poems while playing sports and getting good marks.

One semester in High Scool I brought home a report card with all A's expecting them to shower me with love, affection and attention. It was a logical assumption as bringing home a C on a report got me disapproval, disappointment and negative attention. Yet all they said was "you should want to get good grades for your own benefit". The unfair illogicalness of it angered me. They always expected me to be so logical yet here they were not being logical. If you notice bad grades you should notice good grades proportionately. It was a turning point and I was noticing the abundance of negative attention and real lack of positive attention. I always remember disliking it when my parents watched me do anything. I came to the realization that the reason for this was because they never had anything good, supportive or positive to say. It was like I was forever two years old and they were telling me "no" and "stop" and "don't touch that". I had progressed and developed yet in my parents eyes I had not.

The biggest turning point was when I graduated with my Bachelor's degree. My father was sitting on my bed. He could not just say, "I love you and I am proud of you" and leave it at that. Well he could not really even say that. He talked around in circles about how I had gotten a late start and I had had some stalls and yada yada. He completely missed the forest for the trees by bring up all my tiny error and obsticals and grossly missing the fact that I had graduated with a Bachelor's degree from a university that other peope have heard of all the while majoring in two "foreign" languages. I came to the realization that if my family had any positive strong feelings towards me I would never know. I had to just let this go.

The strongest most import phrase in life is to let it go. It was hard at first but the more I let go, the more I wanted to let go. By letting go and by setting up boundries I was able to let my inner true self emerge. I was not what my parents or grandparents thought I should be. I was not just someone's daugher or granddaughter or niece or daughter-in-law as a reflection on them. I was me. If they could not deal with that then that was their problem. I could not spend my life trying to make everyone happy and do all of the things that I should do. The reason of "you should" as in that is what people are supposed to do is not at all a logical reason to do anything. The word 'should' has been destroyed.

Ireland

I remember being quite little and listening to my Grandparents talk with their siblings and friends about Ireland, the old country. I even remember in the old china cabinet there was a large chunk of earth that I always thought was a big black rock. It had writing on it referencing the town of Galway, Ireland. The story is that my family emigrated from there. I suspect someone from the family brought it with them from Ireland although I was never told who nor the story behind it. It has been repeated to me that my Grandmother's mother would through out her "dish water" into Galway Bay. I also remember accounts of other members in the family teasing my Grandmother's mother for being a Spaniard as she allegedly had a Spanish father and was Black Irish

As I did not seem to fit in well at school nor within my immediate family, I logically started to assume that I had inhereted traits from this older group of Irish/ Spanish people in my lineage. I understood that I really wasn't odd, different or eccentric. I just happened to be that way due to the current circle of people that I, in my childhood years, seemed to find myself with. When my world was smaller as it is when you are young it was quite difficult if not impossible to seek out other like minded individuals but as I got older and my world got bigger it got easier. Thus I really identify with the Irishness and Spanishness of my Grandparents.

I first went to Ireland in 1998. It was before the European Union. I spent Irish Punts £ instead of Euros €. It was quite an amazing trip. Standing on the Cliffs of Moher and looking out over the vast ocean that my family once crossed. Breathtaking. I also stood near Galway bay and imagined my Great-Grandmother throwing out her "dish water" into Galway Bay. I tried to imagine how different it was. But Ireland had changed a lot. On my second trip to Ireland in 2003 it had changed a lot more. There were buildings and houses being built. Progress and development was happening. This was not at all like the Ireland my Grandparents referenced. But the feeling was the same. That mystical feeling that I feel everytime I am in Ireland is always the same. I can't quite put it to words but it is haunting, echoing and mystical. It seems the perfect place for storytellers, druids and celtic priestesses. Being there, being of there and identifying with Ireland has influenced me a great deal.

Montana State University

My freshman year of college I attended Montana State University in Bozeman, MT. I will write more on this later...

Nashville

In order to investigate the process and business of making music I moved to Nashiville, TN. I will write more on this later...

Spain

Ahh mi España como te quiero. After the attacks on 9/11 in 2001 airfare became very inexpensive. I took this opportunity to purchase a very inexpensive ticket to Spain. It was an amazing journey of wich I will write more later.

Colombia

sobre mi tiempo en Colombia.. I visited an ex-boyfriend after he moved back to Colombia. I loved the country and enjoyed his family but fully understood why we had broken up. I understood this more so than him. I missed leaving the country and his lovely family. But I did not miss him. I will elaborate later...