So my mother-in-law was in town recently and while my husband and I miss our families from time to time her visit reminded us that there are some benefits to living with your spouse and your new baby at atleast an 8 hour drive from family. I must say that it is common in both of our families for some members to express their love for us with negative comments and criticisms. For some of them I think that they are under the impression that they can only say they love someone a limited number of times in their lifetime. Some of them are completely oblivious to their behavior.
During her visit my mother-in-law was at the grocery store with me, my husband and our 4 month old daughter. We got in line to check out and began putting our groceries on the conveyor belt. As we put each item on she criticized what we were buying. We put on the belt a can of bush’s backed beans fiesta black bean flavor. She said we shouldn’t be eating food from a can yada yada yada. She said in that criticizing accusatory tone that mother’s have when they are just dictating and talking at you. My husband and I just started laughing. As a response he criticized the juice she was buying saying it was just suger etc. He was not able to say much before she was offended and mad. Amazing how family can poke and poke and poke sometimes and then we finally poke back and they get all mad. I think it is evidence that they are oblivious to how their behavior affects their offspring. But really who cares about someone criticizing their food choices, especially someone without formal training or a degree in the food industry.
What really got under my skin was her comment practically right after arriving. She hugged us, said hello, met her granddaughter and proceeded to tell me I had a little more here and here. She was motioning to my behind. I was caught off guard by her comment. Why was she telling me? Was she trying to be mean? Did she think I did not know? And more importantly, why could I not respond to her unfiltered comment with my own unfiltered response?
Of course I am carrying more weight on my butt and my breasts, I just had a baby 4 months ago. Compared to how I looked 4.5 months ago right before I gave birth I look great. You would not know because you have not seen me since before I was pregnant. I mean I gained 30 pounds during my pregnancy. It was blood and fluid volume, additional breast tissue, an amazing placenta and a WHOLE ENTIRE HEALTHY PERSON. I then proceeded to go through labor and give birth to her without inductions, pitocin, an epidural or any form of pain medication. In fact I gave birth to her on a Tuesday and did not even take an Advil until the following Friday. I have been catering what I eat to only affect my daughter positively in our breastfeeding relationship. For the past 4 months my every waking moment has been consumed with making my daughter happy or supporting my husband.
Getting back to pre pregnancy body has not been my primary objective.
I weight about the same. Now I am a little softer. Once I resume my work out regime my body will go back to what it was before. I miss running but I am in no rush to get back to my pre preggo body.
I don’t understand why there is a fuss about getting back to shape. I don’t know why other people would be at all concerned about my body. Only my husband would be interested. He seems totally unaffected by the change in my body. He seems still uber interested. So why freak out and rush back to shape 2 weeks after giving birth. Enjoy yourself, enjoy your body. Life is short. And after watching my daughter grow the last 4 months, I know that kids grow up way to fast.
I intend to enjoy our life in southern Florida a plane ride away from Negative Nancy’s and criticisms for the time being.